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Veterans Golf Club of Victoria

October 2016 Newsletter

Using Komposer


President Bernie  welcomed all members to Ranfurlie - it has been a new challenge for us! He asked members to thank the Club for the use of their course and facilities. He congratulated all the Bulldogs supporters here for a job well done. However, he said that one supporter had partied so much that he and his group could not complete the round today - not a true Bulldog spirit! He wondered who now has the record for the longest gap between premierships - He thought it may be Richmond or St Kilda, but was reassured that it is now Melbourne. He also thanked Bill Frey, Noel Valle and Daryl Edwards for playing with him - he enjoyed the banter. Bernie also said that one member was entertaining a black snake on the 11th hole - Noel Manning said he left it there.

Number of Players:

He said that today we had a reduced number of starters with a total of 44.


Today we have quite a few apologies - Hans Bleeker, Malcolm Turner,John Farrow, Tom Govern, Ken Griffiths, Brian Guinane, Harold Hayes, John Hiscock, Alex Johnson, Chris MacGeorge, Stan Odachowski, Ken Pride, Chris Proctor, Peter Ross and Kel Tyler.


Today we have one guest, Alan Grisdale - welcome Alan. He thanked Jeff Taylor for bringing Alan along. He was given the usual golf ball! He has subsequently joined.
Just a note for people bringing future guests along - please ask them for their handicap, if they have one and their Golflink Number.

Starters today:

Bernie thanked the evergreen Lance Bolam and Colin Wiseman for their help today. Not easy on days like this in a new club.

Despite that we cannot proceed without volunteers to run these events every month and we really need people to volunteer. Please think about it.

Raffle Prize:

He reminded us of our agreement with the Innes Ireland at the House of Golf Brighton, who are subsidising all of our winners' vouchers and urged us to support them. This company has done much for us and we need to make sure that we use all the vouchers given to us as their prices and deals are very competitive.

Special Achievements

Bernie stated that he knew of only three this month.

He asked if there were any more but there were none?
If you do win, please let me know as we sometimes miss the notices.


Bernie stated that we need to keep bringing along new members as Jeff has done today. He urged all members to look around and ask their friends to come along.

Club Gear

He reminded us that the Club polo shirts and jumpers are available from Daryl Edwards.

Vets Web Site

We have been working on a procedure to allow us all to use the website for future bookings for games. We will continue to use the infamous "Green Folder" that is circulated after all games, as the primary social booking instrument, which will be input to the web on the day after each game. From then on, until the COB Thursday before each game, you will be able to use the website for including your name as a starter, cancellations and apologies. After close of business on the Thursday before each game, you will need to ring the Captain for any changes, as the starters will be preparing the cards and we need to advise the course we are playing on, the number coming along.

Special notice


The annual game against Brighton GC - was held on 19 September. I mentioned last month that we need to make sure that our unbeaten record of winning this trophy continues.
However, for the first time in six outings, the BGC won by a small margin. Congratulations to them, but we need to get it back next year, so keep this one in mind.

Also the Christmas Presentation Lunch will be held on Monday 12th December at Rossdale. This year we are subsidising every ticket by $10 to reduce the cost to $25 each or $50 for a couple. It is a great day and the list is being circulated today and will be at our next two events. Please come along and wear your name tags. It is a great social day for our Club.

Question time

He asked if there were any other issues that members would like to raise??
Bernie then handed over to the Captain.


Trevor Spence, Ken Pembleton, Rod Goode and Trevor again show their styles




Donald welcomed members to Ranfurlie Golf Club for today's event.

Overall winner:

Lance Bolam (17) with 35 points won the Ken Gangell Trophy .

He received a $30 House of Golf voucher for his effort.

Grade winners

A Grade:  George Weaver (16)  32c/b points

B Grade:  Ronnie Chong (25)  31 points

C Grade:  Noel Valle (29)  30c/b points

Nearest to the Pin: Picture

3rd hole: Jeff Stevens  7th hole Bernie (Swan) Coyle

11th hole: Gary (Bulldog) Finnis  15th hole: Rod Goode

Balls down the line:

34 points  David Vine (16)

31 points  Trevor Bottomley (18)  

30 points  Tom Buzza (32),  Allan Baker (32)

29 points  John Molloy (21),  Terry Donahue (16)  Barry Taylor (36),  Daryl Edwards (22)


NAGA Award:

Robin Miller will be able to replace his lost hat with his new NAGA black cap.

Raffle Winners:

Gary Morland celebrated his good play at Ranfurlie by winning the raffle allowing him and three of his mates to play again at Ranfurlie with carts.

Birthday boys for October 2016

Congratulations and best wishes to our members whose birthday falls in OctoberPicture

6th  Robin Miller  79     John Hendrie  69

8th  Miguel Magana  71

10th  Brendan Cooney  60

11th  Tony Villani  65

15th  David Rieger  77

30th  Barbara Grant  71


Affairs of the heart:

Affair 1


A married man was having an affair with his secretary. & One day they went to her place, made love all afternoon until exhausted, then fell asleep and woke up at 8 pm. The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" his wife demanded. "I can't lie to you," he replied, I'm having an affair with my secretary and we had sex all afternoon." She looked down at his shoes and said:

  "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"

Affair 2


A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but had always talked about having a son so they decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant, delivered a healthy baby boy and the joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son and he was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife: "There's no way I can be the father of this baby, look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered before, have you been fooling around behind my back?"
The wife smiled sweetly and replied:

  "Not this time!"

Affair 3


A mortician was working late one night and he examined the body of  Mr.Schwartz,who was about to be cremated and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest penis he had ever seen!

"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part.  It must be saved for posterity."

So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.  “I have something to show you dear. It came from a body I examined today, you just won't believe it," he said, opening the briefcase.

  "My God!" the wife exclaimed," It's Schwartz's!"

Next event:

Cranbourne for the Australian Pensioners Trophy starting at 7:15 on 07th November

 John Killmister ☎ 03 9592 3053 or 0419 519 127 Jeff Stevens ☎ 0408 222 128

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Last updated: 09 January 2017