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Veterans Golf Club of Victoria

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September 2021 Newsletter

President Report:

I hope you are all surviving the latest lock down again. It is hard work but we will come through and like all things we will look back in amazement at what has happened.

Just on 100 years ago the Spanish flu hit the world hard just after WW1 causing millions of deaths, we moved on from that terrible time and we will again move on from CoVID.

Unfortunately the announcement from the Premier yesterday has continued the lock down to at least the 23rd of September. At that time there may only be minor concessions in our lifestyle and movements.

**  Therefore as we know it now,** the following Vets tournaments will be cancelled - September 6 at Rossdale, and the rescheduled game at Eagle Ridge on the 20th of September. The next tournament programmed for Centenary Park Monday, 6th of October will be in jeopardy also as we may have travel restrictions (10k), which means we will not be able to field members to compete.

As we hear the daily government restrictions, our Captain Jeff Stevens is working hard to secure new bookings where possible and has lined up Eagle Ridge for the third time in November, so that we can once again enjoy a game of golf. So please keep an eye on the Vets website for news.

To ALL members and families please take care, stay safe and get your vaccinations.

Ways to make golf more enjoyable for your playing partners.

Go Golfing is a Company which organises golf tours. Based on their experiences they advise their clients as follows:

Commandments of Golf

At Go Golfing, we are best known for running the biggest tournaments for club golfers in Australia and Asia. So what do we pray for? On tournament days, we pray for good weather and no slow play! We choose tournament dates when the weather god’s are likely to be on our side and let’s just say we give the golfing god’s a hand when it comes to slow play.

So here’s the 14 Commandments we send to players before all Go Golfing tournaments. And they work, our average tournament rounds are now 26 minutes faster than 2 years ago.

**Ready, Set, Go**

  1. The first rule is to have fun. Even in tournaments, golf is just a game- wonderful game – but a game nonetheless.
  2. Carry a few extra tees, ball markers and a spare ball in your pockets so you don’t have to return to your golf bag when you need one.
  3. If it takes you longer than 15 seconds to calculate distances with your range-finder, don’t use one.
  4. Turn your phone off or to silent. Phones should only be used for emergencies and should never delay play.
  5. Be courteous and treat all players, staff and officials as you’d like to be treated – with respect. If a player in your group is ‘slow’, offer encouragement and help.

    **Course Logistics**

  6. When sharing a cart, drop the first player off at their ball, drive on ahead to the second ball. The first player should walk over to the cart as the second player is playing his shot.
  7. Begin preparing before you get to your ball. Use travel time to begin thinking over your next shot – the yardage, which club you’ll use, and so on.
  8. When you think your ball may be lost or out of bounds, hit a provisional ball straight away.
  9. Don’t spend more than 2 minutes searching for a ball. It’s nice to watch a good shot, it is more important to watch a bad one to see where the ball finishes. Get a line or a physical marker to help the search for your ball.
  10. When you fall behind the group in front, play ‘ready golf’ until you catch up.
  11. In stableford competitions, if you cannot score, please pick-up.

    **On the Green**

  12. Begin lining up your putt and reading the break as soon as you reach the green. When it is your turn, you will be ready to step right up and take the stroke.
  13. Leave your bags and golf carts to the side of the green, and in the direction of the next tee, never in front of the green.
  14. After holing out on the green, write down your scores. If you have the honour, go to the next hole, tee off and then attend to your scorecard.

Captain's Report

Sadly, the Corona virus has struck again and it was not possible to play for the Bernie Coyle Trophy at Rossdale this month.

With no results to report we have room for a composition by John Hendrie who wrote as follows.

Locked out of your home state, but at least you can have a hit. We Mexicans, on the other hand, remain chomping at the bit.

A few days ago an old tune popped into my head, and I thought “I can do something with that.”
And so, to the tune of “Sister Goldenhair” by America, 1985

🎶 Well I tried to play at Rossdale, but by lockdown was suppressed 🎵
🎵 So I set my sights on Frankston, and went back to my net 🎶
🎶 I ain’t happy ‘bout restrictions, but I do believe sometime 🎵
🎵 That the Covid jab should free us from confines 🎶

Thanks John for this contribution

Birthday boys for September 2021

Congratulations and best wishes to our members whose birthday falls in September.Picture

5th  Peter Garbellini  75

6th  Peter Fischer  73

7th  Gina Thorne  54     Ross Rowley  65

14th  Neil Wilson  72

15th  Robert Franks  78

16th  John Killmister  76

18th  Alan Millard  71

25th  Rod Goode  82

26th  Bill Dooley  75

27th  George Weaver  73

A Golfer's poem

In My Hand I Hold A Ball,

Ball is imaginary

White And Dimpled, And Rather Small.
Oh, How Bland It Does Appear,
This Harmless Looking Little Sphere.
By Its Size I Could Not Guess
The Awesome Strength It Does Possess.
But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell,
I've Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell.
My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same
Since I Chose To Play This Stupid Game.
It Rules My Mind For Hours On End;
A Fortune It Has Made Me Spend.
It Has Made Me Curse And Made Me Cry,
And Hate Myself And Want To Die.
It Promises Me A Thing Called Par,
If I Hit It Straight And Far.
To Master Such A Tiny Ball,
Should Not Be Very Hard At All.
But My Desires The Ball Refuses,
And Does Exactly As It Chooses.
It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies,
And Disappears Before My Eyes.
Often It Will Have A Whim,
To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim.
With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land,
It Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand.
Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul,
If Only It Would Find The Hole.
It's Made Me Whimper Like A Pup,
And Swear That I Will Give It Up.
And Take To Drink To Ease My Sorrow,
But The Ball Knows ... I'll Be BackTomorrow.
Stand proud you noble swingers of clubs
And losers of balls!

A recent study found that the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year.

Another study found that golfers drink, on average, 60 litres of alcohol a year.

This means that, on average, golfers use about 6.7 litre/100km!,/p>

Kind of makes you proud. Almost makes you feel like a ***hybrid***.

The Olympics

While we're in a sporting frame of mind and the Olympics are relatively fresh in our memory I found these quotes from the commentators

Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."

Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."

Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."