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Veterans Golf Club of Victoria

February 2021 Newsletter

https://www.vetsgolfvic.org.au/newsletters/images/joke202102.jpg
President Report

President Report:


The president welcomed 75 members to the Rossdale Golf club to play for the Royce Hollingworth trophy with the course in great condition and thanked the Club for their hospitality.

The starters for the tournament dispatched the shot gun field arranged by the Vice Captain Jeff Stevens, and assisted by Peter Ross, Harold Hayes and myself, while Jeff Taylor trialed our new payment facility - Tap & Go which was used by 27 members.  We look forward to those numbers increasing to 100% over the next several months.  Where you have a debit card available please use that in preference to a credit card.  There is nearly a dollar difference in the charge to the club.

There were 23 apologies in total for the tournament with the 2021 AGM Life members Lance Bolan, Don McDonald and Ray Underwood unable to attend.

Tribute was paid to members we lost during 2020 - Hugh Churchward, John Currie and Stan Odachowski.

There was 2 new members welcomed and played their first rounds - David Rieger and Rod Seach.  We had one guest for the day Bernard de Rollibrand.

"Brag Time" - members who have had unbelievable rounds lately - Peter Bywaters, David Heraud and Daryl Edwards.

The Sponsors were thanked for their support to the Vets club - Innes Ireland of H.O.G and Chris Thorne's Window Cleaning Service.

AGM

The minutes of the 71st AGM of 2020 were moved and carried.

The Annual reports from the President, Captain and the 2020 Treasurers financial statement were moved and carried by the members.

The office bearers elected for 2021 were -

  1. President : Roger Selwood
  2. Vice President : Peter Garbellini
  3. Captain : Jeff Stevens
  4. V Captain : Harold Hayes
  5. Treasurer : Jeff Taylor
  6. Secretary : Gary Morland
  7. Handicapper : Ray Desmond
  8. Marketing : Daryl Edwards
  9. Webmaster : Laurie Comerford

On behalf of all present and past members of the Veterans golf club we wish to thank David Vine for 10 years dedicated service as Treasurer.

The CoM recommended that the Annual Subscription be $40 for 2021 with the joining fee set at $65 = $105

Our game day fee was discussed as a two tier payment pending on the course at $55 or $60.

Member Alan Millard proposed the game day fee be set at $60 for all games as of the 1st March this year.

Therefore the members were asked to consider and vote on the two presented proposals.

The members unanimously voted in favour of the $60 game fee.

The Treasurers 2021 proposed budget was carried.

The members asked to consider the adoption of the Model Rules and By-Laws to replace the Club's Constitution presented by Jeff Stevens. 

The only request in General Business was for the CoM to consider a change to the Club shirt.

Membership categories

Following the adoption of the Model Rules the Committee is able to set the Membership categories.  A new membership class of "Sponsor" will now be adopted allowing our Sponsors to have the same playing rights as Members.  Details of the new membership classes can be seen in By-law 2 here.

captain

Captain:

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Captain Harold Hayes welcomed members to 'Rossdale Golf Club' for today's event.

Overall winner:

John Killmister (27) with 38 points won the Royce Hollingworth Trophy

He received a $40 House of Golf voucher for his effort.

Grade winners

A Grade:  George Weaver (13)  37 points

B Grade:  Chris Procter (19)  36 points

C Grade:  Colin Holmes (34)  38 points

Nearest to the Pin:

Thanks to the joys of COVID-19 we are unable to measure the NTP values and therefor no NTPs have been awarded

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A clear exposition

Balls down the line:

38 points  Tom Buzza (28)

36 points  Roger Foenander (12)

35 points  Allen McAuliffe (18)  Bruce Keenan (20)

33 points  Peter Garbellini (12)

32 points  Patrick Ryan (17)  Daryl Edwards (18)  Tony Villani (26)  Philip Howe (29)  Yvonne Daniel (36)

NAGA Award:

Johannes Tetteroo

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Just ensure there are no trees between the fairways

Door prize Winners:

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John Marshall celebrated a good day at Rossdale by winning the door prize allowing him and three of his friends to play again at Rossdale.

Tess Killmister will now have clean windows by using the Window Cleaning voucher from Chris Thorne.

Jeff Stevens won the third of our door prizes, a nice bottle of red.

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Birthday boys for February 2021

Congratulations and best wishes to our members whose birthday falls in February

1st  Ray Desmond  77

7th  Ian Cornish  75

11th  Peter Ross  72

15th  Warren Stahel  74

20th  Steven Hassan  72

22nd  Philip Horsburgh  68

25th  Trevor McGilton  80

26th  Bill Heron  76

28th  Lindsay Quennell  83     John Newby  69

With apologies to blondes

Blond not found

1) Tracking

Three blondes are walking through the woods when they see a set of tracks on the ground. The first blonde says "These are bear tracks. Trust me." The second blonde says "no, silly. These are deer tracks. My dad used to take me hunting!" The third blonde says "You're both wrong. They're Wolf tracks."

They were still arguing when the train hit them...

2) Flying

A plane is on its way to Brisbane when a blonde in economy class gets up and moves to the first class section and sits down.

The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde that she will have to go back to economy.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Brisbane and I'm staying right here."

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and the co-pilot that there is a blonde bimbo sitting in first class, who belongs in economy and won't move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for economy she will have to leave and return to her seat.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Brisbane and I'm staying right here."

The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman who won't listen to reason.

The pilot says, "You say she is a blonde? I'll handle this, I'm married to a blonde, I speak blonde."

He goes back to the blonde and whispers in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry." and gets up and goes back to her seat in economy.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

I told her,

"First class isn't going to Brisbane".

3) At the doctors

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

"Impossible"" says the doctor.. "Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said,

"Your finger is broken."

4) Disneyland

Two blondes were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT.

They started crying and turned around and went home.

5) Sydney or the moon

Two blondes living in Brisbane were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Sydney or the moon?"

The other blonde turns and says

"Helloooooooooo, can you see Sydney ?????"

6) Car troubles

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, "What's the story?"

He replies, "Just crap in the carburettor."

She asks,

"How often do I have to do that?"

7) The river

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank

"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back,

"You ARE on the other side."

8) Knitting

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.

Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back,

"It's a SCARF!"

9) Blonde in the sun

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.

The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"

The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"

The Blonde said, "So what? We"re going to be the first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied,

"We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"

10) In a vacuum

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was,

"If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked,

"Is the motor on or off?"

11) Doggone it!!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blonde.

"They're watch dogs!"

Blond not found

12) The licence

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff,

"I wish you guys would get your act together.  Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"


Next event:

Waterford Valley for the Thord Lorich Trophy starting at 7:15 on 01st March

 Peter Garbellini ☎ 03 9546 4592 or 0408 569 851 Harold Hayes ☎ 03 9570 4759 or 0408 558 260 Chris Procter ☎ 03 9754 3081 or 0407 543 081 Roger Selwood ☎ 0417 323 308

Churchill/Waverley for the Captain-Presidents Trophy starting at 7:15 on 29th March

 Daryl Edwards ☎ 03 9584 6790 Peter Garbellini ☎ 03 9546 4592 or 0408 569 851 Harold Hayes ☎ 03 9570 4759 or 0408 558 260 Roger Selwood ☎ 0417 323 308

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Last updated: 22 June 2021