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Veterans Golf Club of Victoria

February 2018 Newsletter

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President Donald welcomed us to Rossdale Golf Club for the Royce Hollingworth Trophy competition and asked all present to thank the club for the use of their excellent facilities, and their generous donation of our main raffle prize.  Weatherwise it was a good day for golf, if a little humid.

The lunch and clubhouse facilities were thoroughly enjoyed by the members. Donald wished all members of the Club a very happy 2018 and hoped it would be another great year for the members.

He reminded everyone that the annual subs of $30 are due and can be paid by seeing our Treasurer, David Vine.

As the AGM was to immediately follow the luncheon, the presentations and speeches were kept brief. We thank Rossdale GC once again for the use of their clubhouse for our AGM.

Number of Players / Guests:

Donald said that we had a terrific turnout today. It was great to see so many members and guests out on the course. We had a total of 61 players which included 3 guests. Karl Lindberg was a guest of Jeff Taylor, John Field was a guest of Laurie Comerford and Bert de Luca was a guest of Peter Charlewood. All 3 guests have now joined the Vets and we extend a very warm welcome to them. They received the usual complimentary golf balls.

Please note that when members bring a guest along, please ask them for their Golflink number. Otherwise provide our Handicapper, Ray Desmond, with a guideline as to their playing standard.


There were 13 apologies this month. 
Lance Bolam, Trevor Bottomley, Reg Davey, Chris Donald, Peter Fischer, Bill Heron, Philip Horsburgh, Alex Johnson, Michael Montgomery, Stan Odachowski, Declan Stephenson, Christopher Thorne, Kelvin Tyler.
We look forward to seeing the 'boys' back on course soon, together with a few other members who are currently a bit poorly. We wish all of you a speedy recovery and look forward to seeing you at Waterford Valley GC on Monday 5th March 2018 at 7.15am for the Thord Lorich Trophy competition.

Starters today:

Donald and the members thanked John Currie, Colin Wiseman and Terry Donohue for a job well done in getting such a large number of groups off and running. As previously mentioned, we cannot proceed without volunteers to run these events every month, so please consider helping as it is a bit of fun and you will get to know more members of the club. Now that there is a requirement for 3 starters, the need for volunteers becomes even more pressing. Please help your Club.

Membership News:

It is pleasing to note that our membership numbers in 2018 have started well, which is a wonderful achievement. My thanks to everyone for their efforts to bring along potential new members. We still have room for more new members so please keep promoting our Club as you are all doing a wonderful job.

President Donald mentioned that both Lance Bolam and Hugh Churchward (both Life Members) who have had some health problems lately, are back home and making progress with their recoveries. Our thoughts are with them.

Special Achievements:

  • Al Abraham (although losing out on a countback!) had a fantastic total of 56 points recently at Brighton GC.

If you do win, please let me know as we sometimes miss the notices.

Vets Web Site :

President Donald reminded us that early in 2018 we will conduct an online survey into the use of the Club's website by our members. It will focus on how the system is used by our members on a day-to-day basis, what are the likes and dislikes associated with the website. Our Webmaster, Laurie Comerford will be in touch in the coming weeks when he will explain what the aims of the survey are intended to be. Please take the time to provide the necessary feedback which we can share with the members.

Question time :

There were no questions.


He then handed over to our Captain, Harold Hayes.



Overall winner:

Ronnie Chong (22) with 39 points won the Royce Hollingworth Trophy

Our winners receive a $40 House of Golf voucher for their effort.

Grade winners

A Grade:  Trevor Spence (19)  38 points

B Grade:  Daryl Edwards (20)  36 points

C Grade:  John Killmister (30)  36 points

Nearest to the Pin:

3rd hole: Laurie Comerford  9th hole: Bernie Coyle

12th hole: John Currie  16th hole:

Captain joke image not yet available

The student missed that the worker needs to be alone.

Balls down the line:

38 points  Laurie Comerford (12)

37 points  Al Abraham (16)

36 points  Bernie Coyle (17)  Rex Buckeridge (21)  James Flaagan (32)

35 points  Peter Ross (22)  Ian Hoskins (18)  Mick Kelly (11)  Ray Underwood (19)

NAGA Award:

Neil Wilson

Naga image not yet available
How to reduce your score to a manageable number.

Door prize Winners:


Gary Finnis celebrated his good day at Rossdale by winning the raffle allowing him and three of his mates to play again at Rossdale with carts.

It can't be long before we're driving these, but which will wear out first - the tyres of the motor?


Birthday boys for February 2018

Congratulations and best wishes to our members whose birthday falls in FebruaryPicture

1st  Ray Desmond  74

7th  Ian Cornish  72

9th  Jack Rydel  62

11th  Peter Ross  69

15th  Warren Stahel  71

20th  Steven Hassan  69

22nd  Philip Horsburgh  65

25th  Trevor McGilton  77

26th  Bill Heron  73

28th  John Newby  66     Lindsay Quennell  80


Having had an AGM this month, we've gone overboard with an age related set of jokes. Laugh away!


An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.

She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting." Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.


Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my neck."

Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"To get my teeth!"

At the retirement home:


80-year old Bessie bursts into the common room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!"

An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant?"

Bessie thinks a minute and says,

"Close enough."

Old friends:

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.


One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me...I know we've been friends for a long time but I just can't think of your name. I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said,

"How soon do you need to know?"


Senior driving:

As a senior citizen was driving down the highway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, " Vernon, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on I25. Please be careful!"

"Hell," said Vernon, "It's not just one car.. it's hundreds of them!"

Senior not driving:

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to major crossroad. The stop light was red, but they just went on through.

The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes, they came to another major junction and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.


At the next junction, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"

Mildred turned to her and said,

"Oh! Am I driving?".


A little old lady who had lost her marbles was running up and down the halls in a nursing home.


As she ran, she would flip up the hem of her skirt and say "Supersex."

She ran up to an elderly man in a wheelchair, flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex."

He stared at her for a moment or two and finally answered,

"I'll take the soup."

Next event:

Waterford Valley for the Thord Lorich Trophy starting at 7:15 on 05th March

 Joe Cirnigliaro ☎ 03 9583 5086 or 0409 027 500 John Molloy ☎ 03 9583 5331 or 0430 500 905 Chris Procter ☎ 03 9754 3081 or 0407 543 081

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Last updated: 22 June 2021